New Improved Ramblings of a Full-Time Dethleffer
Some Say that His Eyelids Close Sideways and That His Blood is Green...I Don't Know, But They Call Him 'The Wigg'
Irreverent Ramblings From a Photographer Who Lives In His Dethleffs. (Actually he takes fabulous photos, but he can get quite grumpy from time to time......and he is great fun and very witty!) (The opinions offered here are purely those of the author and not necessarily of the Dethleffs Owners Club)
2009 And we are off and running. I have only done 7000 miles this year so far, but what a 7000. I must say I was really surprised how well the old van handled in the snow. I was worried that I would be spinning everywhere but was surprised how good it has been. I have only encountered one problem and that has been how cold the floor has been. Of course being a “fixer” I have come up with an idea of raising the floor about an inch and a half and redirecting the heating ducts underneath it to create under floor heating, well the Romans did it so why can’t I. Ed:Dethleffs do already make double-floored vans with the ducts running through!
I have also had the fridge stocked with sausages. I can’t wait to get stuck on some motorway and sell hot dogs to all the poor souls who have come out unprepared.
I have not been to any shows this year, mainly because my wife has banned it. She is fed up with losing me as I wander off, and she comments that when she looks for me all she can see are middle aged, middle sized men with white hair and blue fleeces, wandering up the isles. She has had several encounters with strangers she has gone up to, and has even had the odd offer or two! Maybe there should be a ladies club where they can all get together and make sure their partners are not all wearing the same clothes, though maybe not, they may decide to get a liking for boating and all run off with rich Greek shipping magnates, and then where would we be?
In the last bad snow fall in February I was working on an estate in Northumberland. It’s amazing how excited people get when ‘one’ arrives in ‘ones’ mobile home. Her ladyship was so taken with the van I had a job to get rid of her, but blew it when his lordship arrived with a dozen oysters, he has his own oyster farm of course!, but when herself inquired where I kept my oyster knife, only to find I didn’t have one, she was very disappointed. I don’t know what you all keep in your cutlery door, mines got chop sticks, wheel nuts, a bottle opener, as well as the usual knives, forks, string and tent pegs, but an oyster knife really! I feel an oyster knife stand at the next show might be a runner.
March is now on us and at last sites are starting to open. I never book, mainly because I am never quite sure where I will be. So I look for sites as I travel, the best, and quickest for me are to go for the brown signs on the road, but time after time they are closed for the winter. I wonder if there should be two colours, brown signs for sites that are open all year round and say blue for seasonal sites, I am sure I am not the only one who suffers from this. However to all you site owners out there I wish you a better year this year than last. I regularly stay on a sites in Redruth, and near Wadebridge in Cornwall and I could only describe their sites as tank training grounds last summer, they were in a terrible state, not their fault but with such bad weather they were stuck. Both these site this year have now put hard standing, and good drives to the pitches, but what an expense for them on the back of a bad year. It is also a bit of a shame as I quite like the informality of an open site, there is at least more chance you will talk to your neighbour than if you are parked in a fenced off area.
Last August I was at the Redruth site and parked next to a tent, the husband, a thirty something, was outside in the rain trying to have a smoke. I had the awning out so invited him under, he had two small children, one a baby and the other three years old and the weather had been so bad they had not been able to leave the tent for three days, I felt so sorry for him I even gave him a beer. I like the outdoors and I want everyone to enjoy the outdoors and therefore holiday as such, but last year must have dampened so many peoples enthusiasm for this type of holiday, it’s sad.
I am ‘moored’ up on a camp site overlooking Grange over Sands, Don’t bother coming, its dreadful. No hook up, concrete uncleaned showers, very muddy field and a “modest” £12.50 a night, not good. Although, I am next to a guy who turns out to be a rather lonely cockle picker from South Wales, who talks for England, sorry Wales. Have you ever camped next to a cockle picker? Thought not. There is not much I don’t now know about cockle picking.
I am a travelling photographer, who photographs holiday cottages all over the country. I am away in my precious Dethleffs at least 3 nights a week, and in the spring and summer that goes up to 6 to 7 nights, my wife who does all my bookings, and therefore sends me away, has said it’s nearly a perfect marriage, I can’t think why!
For years we had been going to Camping and Caravan shows looking with envy at all the lovely, and pricey motor homes. Back in the spring of 2005, at the Stratford upon Avon (that’s my home town) motor home show, I bit the bullet and ordered one from Campbell's at Kirkham. (Now don’t get me going about them, not the best in my experience on customer service) The van I ordered is a Fiat Dethleffs Globetrotter Advantage. It was the first van we looked in that had decent fabrics on the chairs and did not look like a ‘velour gipsy caravan’, ’or a cockle picker's van’. It has the double bed at the back next to the shower, a good seating and cooking area, and… well everything. My wife is partly disabled and would not be able to climb up over the cab, and this was a van that was just big enough for the two of us, with downstairs sleeping, but not so big as to prevent me getting to all those Rural cottages I have to photograph around the country.
I took delivery of the van in July of 2005, and I am still delighted with it. I have as yet not found a way of improving the interior layout, except maybe a little shelf for a cuppa in bed. The van has had its problems, I have had to have three new wheel bearings fitted to the front drivers side, and next week I get one fitted to the front passengers side, I have tried without success to find out why, Campbell's were useless, so much so I have paid for each one of the bearings, and not had them done on the warranty, on my first inquiry after 8 months, they shoved me off to their local Fiat dealer (aged about 12) who didn’t want to play and said that if I left it with them for a couple of weeks they would look into it, difficult when I use it almost every day, and I live some 100 miles away. A word of advice for the new buyer, buy as close to your home as you can. As you can imagine I am quite a high mileage user so far 70,000, but 4 wheel bearings!!?
The interior of the van has stood up remarkable well to nearly full time usage. I have had a new handle on the wardrobe door, a new tap in the bathroom, and I am waiting for a new shower tray to arrive from Germany, I managed to crack the old one by the door. But other than that everything works well, and doesn’t look too worn. The outside is a bit scratched, mainly on the passenger side, hedges and branches sticking out into the road, on those small Cornish lanes. Don’t those Cornish drivers panic when they come racing round a corner and see you coming, te hee!.
Tell me, why do motor home drivers all wave to each other on the road, and yet when they are parked up next to each other, never speak, (unless they are cockle pickers), they just hide behind their satellite driven plasma TV screens. If you know the reason e-mail me at wiggi@hotmail.com. I have got a satellite hook up in the van so I can get e-mails straight to my laptop. I can also advise you on where not to camp. I do seem to find them. I never book on to sites as I am never sure where I will be. Although I also get to some excellent ones, the best one so far is the site in the Breamish Valley, Northumberland. The site managers are lovely, and they arrange things like moth nights----yea can you believe it A MOTH NIGHT—how cool is that, you spend hours looking for moths in up turned egg boxes, really boring, unless you love moths…… I must get out more! But still a bit of fun, better than discussing the merits of cockle picking!